the-jennster

I find my thoughts a wanderin’
Of you curled by my side.
My arms wrapped ‘round your waist,
My face against your neck,
The feeling of your heart
Beating against my chest.

You know how much I love
To have you here with me
To feel your heartbeat in my bones
And drift me off to sleep

I think of you when I’m alone
And I can’t seem to sleep
I tell myself your heart is here
Sleeping next to me.

there is a pounding
at the door
interrupting
every
second
thought
the weight of it
shakes your skull
empties your mind
leaves
you
frozen
and you are helpless
but to sit
and act
like
nothing
is
wrong

there are needles
in your skin
drawing feeling
out
like
blood
the nothing of it
fills your limbs
with a
silence
that
echoes
and you are helpless
but to sit
and act like
nothing
is
wrong

there is fire
in your bones
every movement
burns
like
agony
the pain of it
overwhelms you
with exhaustion
and you are
tired
of
burning
but you are helpless
just to sit
and act like
nothing
is
wrong

hello there, any potential dreamwidth folks (dreamers?) reading this-- my name's jenn. i mostly joined dreamwidth for the renegadepublishing community and criticalkink but figured i'd made a pseudo-intro post for any interested parties to get to know me

i'm nineteen, and I use she/her and xe/xir pronouns, among others. i'm very queer in many regards, namely in that i am genderqueer, bisexual, and polyamorous (again, among others), and i'm currently in a polycule in which i have both a girlfriend and a boyfriend (and my boyfriend just got engaged). i'm finishing up my associate's degree (in arts) and transferring to unc chapel hill in the fall, where i hope to get both my bachelor's and master's degrees (in creative writing/folklore and library sciences respectively).

i'm disabled from going through covid untested and unsupported three times over the course of the pandemic, and was recently diagnosed with fibromyalgia. i have adhd, anxiety, and depression, alongside many other self-diagnosed neurodiversities, and am living in an abusive home until i transfer.

i enjoy pretty much all things creative, but especially writing. i'm an active dungeons & dragons player and spend most of my free time watching critical role. i'm a hekatean witch, practicing for seven years, though my disability has made it difficult to be as active in my practice as i'd like.

i,,, think that's everything? i suck at intros, i'm never sure what's too much information and what's not enough. as for what i'll post about, i have no idea: we'll figure that out as we go